Tuesday, December 4, 2007


Sorry these updates are taking rather longer than expected. You know how it is - crims to catch, beats to patrol, groovy threads to wear, things to see and people to do.

Moving on to the latest in our series of rather silly synopses of Funky Squad radio stories:


Funky Squad find themselves on Primitive Island, private hideaway of the mysterious Sir Pith-Helmet. It's pure luxury of the old school colonial variety.

Pith-Helmet: More drinks? Hor d'oerves? Jungle noises turned down?

The squaddies are here to investigate the disappearance of visitors to Primitive Island. It turns out Pith-Helmet is looking for human scalps to add to the lions, tigers, grizzly bears and cuddly ickle rabbits that line his walls, and has taken to hunting down homo sapiens - and Funky Squad is next on his list of trophies.

Cassie: That's one mean cat
Grant: But if we concentrate, we can beat him.
Stix: Would you pass the cereal?

Dawn approaches in a cacophony of bird noises, and the hunt is on.

Pith-Helmet: Perkins! Sound the horn!
SFX: Beep! Beep!
Pith-Helmet: Not the Barina, the hunting horn!

Funky Squad have an hour to make it across the island to a boat and make their escape before Pith-Helmet wipes out the lot of them (as you do).

Cassie: If only someone would say something that contains a word to trigger an escape plan!
Stix: Look at that beautifully camouflaged butterfly?
Cassie: That's it!
Stix: Butterfly!
Cassie: No, camouflage.

And very soon...

Pith-Helmet: Hmmm, nothing here except four trees with a vaguely human shape...

Despite the squaddies' alledged brilliance, PH tracks them down, and only a last-minute deception involving a handful of fast-acting poisonous berries avoids a messy end.

This story later turned up in comic form in the Funky Squad annual.

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